Thank you for this brave and heartfelt writing about your life experience, Jaymie. I share the pain and the shame you talk about from two positions: as a mother and a helper who wished she’d known better, and as a woman caught in her own body history and bind.
Over many years of development, I have learned that the best I can do is to have a willingness to be countercultural in my thinking, and resolute in my responses to my own body and the bodies of my beloved friends and family.
At it’s best, shame about size and differences is transmuting- it emerges as a very personal issue, but when it is honored, (as you have said), it can become deeply communal and filled with spirit. With love
I certainly wasn't so self aware at that age. It wasn't until I was 11/12 years old in the first year of secondary school (British) and a fellow school "friend" said to me out of the blue "you know you're not pretty don't you" that it even entered my head to consider it and compare. I'd like to think it doesn't bother me any more but it's still there in my head niggling away subconsciously.
Oh my gosh. I started gymnastics when I was 8. I was the string bean with bow legs and a thigh gap but *everyone* looked better to me. I figured out by jr high confidence is the key to success. For me, the only way to self-acceptance and kindness was a spiritual journey. Critiquing ourselves is just part of this life in a body that is slowly but surely constantly changing and finally decomposing while we’re still in it. But life, and these meat suits … is amazing❣️
This was such a great read. I’ve thought a lot about how we switch at some point, from wanting to be bigger as children to wanting to make ourselves as small as possible. And how do we guide our daughters when we haven’t figured it out ourselves?
Thank you for this brave and heartfelt writing about your life experience, Jaymie. I share the pain and the shame you talk about from two positions: as a mother and a helper who wished she’d known better, and as a woman caught in her own body history and bind.
Over many years of development, I have learned that the best I can do is to have a willingness to be countercultural in my thinking, and resolute in my responses to my own body and the bodies of my beloved friends and family.
At it’s best, shame about size and differences is transmuting- it emerges as a very personal issue, but when it is honored, (as you have said), it can become deeply communal and filled with spirit. With love
This ending 😭
I certainly wasn't so self aware at that age. It wasn't until I was 11/12 years old in the first year of secondary school (British) and a fellow school "friend" said to me out of the blue "you know you're not pretty don't you" that it even entered my head to consider it and compare. I'd like to think it doesn't bother me any more but it's still there in my head niggling away subconsciously.
We're all so alike in our insecurities.
Oh my gosh. I started gymnastics when I was 8. I was the string bean with bow legs and a thigh gap but *everyone* looked better to me. I figured out by jr high confidence is the key to success. For me, the only way to self-acceptance and kindness was a spiritual journey. Critiquing ourselves is just part of this life in a body that is slowly but surely constantly changing and finally decomposing while we’re still in it. But life, and these meat suits … is amazing❣️
This was such a great read. I’ve thought a lot about how we switch at some point, from wanting to be bigger as children to wanting to make ourselves as small as possible. And how do we guide our daughters when we haven’t figured it out ourselves?